ju_lii: (han solo)
*note* rules 3, 4, and 5 stolen from an episode of The Riches, because they're great rules.

Star Wars: A New Hope
Title: Rules
Prompt: 5 Things
Characters: Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, C3P0, Chewbacca
Rating: G

Summary: “Rules. Now, I know what you're thinking; smugglers don't follow rules! That's what makes them smugglers. Well, kid, I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. Laws, we break 'em. That's not even a discussion. But rules are a completely different thing.”

--

“Okay, listen, kid; the first thing you need to know about being a smuggler is that there are rules.”

“I'm not a smuggler,” Luke pointed out wearily, like he'd had this conversation many times in the past three days. (He hadn't. They'd discussed his future twice, maybe three times if you counted that one heated argument about idealism versus self-preservation. And maybe once when Chewie had gotten him a little bit drunk; how was the Wookie supposed to know the kid was a lightweight?) At least he wasn't arguing anymore. To Han, that was a sign that he was softening.

Rules,” he repeated, with more emphasis than strictly necessary. “Now, I know what you're thinking; smugglers don't follow rules! That's what makes them smugglers. Well, kid, I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. Laws, we break 'em. That's not even a discussion. But rules are a completely different thing.”

Luke raised an eyebrow. In the corner, the old man was sitting quietly, supposedly meditating; but Han could swear that he saw a hint of a smile on his face. Chewie was openly skeptical of his statement.

Ungrateful heathens. But it didn't matter. The kid was going to get his lesson one way or the other, and he was going to be so dazzled by the life that he joined their little crew immediately and left this ridiculous Rebellion crap behind. Idealism did not breed longevity in this day and age. And, as annoying and stubborn and cocky as the kid could get, Han also much preferred him alive.

“If you all could cut it out with your silent judgment, I am actually trying to impart some knowledge here.” He ignored Chewbacca's roaring laughter. “Rule One: Trust no one but your own crew, and sometimes not even them. Trusting people gets you dead. This is particularly true of farm kids with attitudes and their heads in the clouds, not that I know anyone like that...” Luke shrugged, and leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

Hm.

“Rule Two: Watch your crew's backs. You never know what might be coming, so be prepared for everything.”

“That sounds like two rules to me,” Luke pointed out.

Han threw his hands in the air. “Hey, I didn't write 'em! I just pass 'em on. Rule Three: Don't screw up. This one is immediately and aptly followed by Rule Four: Seriously. Don't screw up.”

“Are they the same to balance out the double rule? Because I'm not sure it really works that way...”

Han was getting tired of this kid's sass. “Look, do you want to learn the rules, or not?”

“Not.”

“Well, too bad!” He huffed, arms crossed over his chest. No amount of money was worth this. “Rule Five: Cash out before you pass out.” Chewie rumbled something under his breath. “No, I don't understand what it means, Fuzzball. But it's in the rules so you'd better take notes!”

Luke raised his hand. Since it was a gesture that Han hadn't seen since he was a kid in school, he decided to humor him. “Yes, Mr. Skywalker?”

“Well, I was just wondering –”

Han never did get to find out what it was that Luke was wondering. At that moment, the confounded protocol droid that they'd insisted on dragging along with them ran out into the common area (well, it was more of a fast shuffle), followed by the angrily squealing astromech unit. Damn droids.

“Master Luke!” the one was saying, flailing his arms around and looking even ridiculous than he usually did. He sounded agitated, though that wasn't all that strange, either. “Master Luke! I told him not to do it! You know that I would never allow him to do anything to jeopardize our safety. But he connected to the ship and –”

“HE WHAT?” Han thundered, because no. Nobody but him or Chewie was supposed to touch the Falcon, he'd made that very clear the moment they'd come onboard. “What did he do? Let me at him! Damn droids, what did I tell you?”

Further smuggling lessons would have to wait until later.

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